Gentle and careful Awareness: Sharing Mindfulness with those who experience trauma
Before I begin this article I want to make it very clear, that there are times when mindfulness is not an appropriate approach for individuals regardless of whether they carry trauma or not. Nor is Mindfulness a panacea. I am writing from my experience and training and with the desire to shine some awareness on how it can be helpful for some people when used skilfully and in the right time and place.
The root of the word trauma is ‘wound’, something distressing to the individual has happened in the past that is stored by the mind and is often also felt within the body.
Rather commonly those of us who carry trauma find that sitting still and quiet and shifting our intention inwards leads to rumination, unrest or upset. This may be at a conscious or unconscious level.
And yet…
In my work with people who carry trauma, I find that a skilful introduction to mindfulness can lead to a sense of calm and stilness and even a good nights sleep for the first time in a long time. Here are some of the fundamentals as to how this can come to be:
Working with the nervous System
The best thing for your nervous system is another human and the worst thing for your nervous system is another human. - Lisa Feldman Barrett
In order to settle someone else's nervous system, we too must have a settled nervous system. Our quality of breath, the dilation of our pupils, the softness of our muscles in the body and the sound of our voice are all unconscious tell-tale signs for another human to pick up on. If we feel safe and regulated, we have a better chance of helping another to feel safe and regulated and it is the crucial first step before any further conversation can happen. This can take days, weeks, even months or years depending on the individual.
During this time we can begin to learn what helps an individual to feel safe, and what needs to be avoided.
Coming Home
Once trust has been built, the next step is often a short skilful guidance involving helping the individual to regulate their own body so that their nervous system can shift into a feeling of safety. Perhaps there is gentle movement, or perhaps a sitting or lying posture is established; it is all about what feels right for the individual.
Finally, with guidance, a short moment of directed inward attention to somewhere that feels safe can take place, and with intention for the individual to foster the quality of friendship, care and non-judgement towards their own self. This can be called centring or ‘coming home’ to the body.
Many of us spend a lot of time trying to place our attention outside of our own mind and body because we don’t enjoy living with them . It can be a great relief to find a sense of respite and safety is still possible, even if it does take a great deal of care and practice and support from another person.
Mindfulness practice, when shared carefully can help people find an island within a stormy sea.
