Finding what you want

Finding what you want

Here are some thoughts about finding what you want Is what you want and what you say you want the same thing? Is it okay for you to have what you want? If you get it, how will that change the way you live or the way others see you? If you get it what might you lose? Do you believe you are capable of or deserve to have what you want? How long do you permit yourself to strive for what you want? How long do you permit yourself to enjoy what you want once you have it? What is the criteria for knowing when you have what you want? And will you realise it consistently when you have it? Is it what you want or what everyone else/society wants you to want? Do you already have it? Have you had it, or something similar in the past? What happened immediately after you had it? Do you need to...
Read More
Climbing partnerships: How to avoid the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse

Climbing partnerships: How to avoid the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse

Climbing partnerships: How to avoid 4 horsemen of the apocalypse Every so often during a coaching session it becomes apparent that there is a problem that is lying under the surface. I often find that because it is not fair to blame ones climbing partner for ones climbing performance, most people that I coach try not to bring it to the surface or even admit it to themselves. And yet throughout the session the topic of their climbing partner will slowly become the elephant in the room as it rears its head subtly in conversation over and over again. I have written this blog to share some thoughts about climbing and relationships, because truth be told, who you climb with and how you interact with them, can make a massive difference to your wellbeing and climbing performance just as much as it can to theirs. So how do the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse feature in all of this? Well lets start at the beginning...
Read More
What is phobia therapy and how can it help?

What is phobia therapy and how can it help?

Phobia therapy. What is that? How does it work? Will it work for me? People ask many questions and have a great deal of preconceptions about how to let go of fears and phobias. I wanted to share a no-nonsense approach to answering what phobia therapy is and how it works. As a disclaimer, this blog is of course my own opinions based on my training, my research and my practice working with clients in the context of phobia therapy. There are other people out there with styles and systems that I either haven't come across, or have yet to research or fully appreciate the merit of. How does a phobia work? A phobic response is designed to keep you safe. If the unconscious has a voice it would be saying "I will never let you be harmed by this again." Unfortunately it acts like a sensitive smoke detector, and sets off a full scale alarm at the faintest whiff of burnt toast. The panic that...
Read More
Just Calm Down

Just Calm Down

“Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down” States a popular meme doing the rounds on social media. Whilst I would primarily agree with this statement, I think it is worth taking a closer look. There are two problems about being told to calm down. The sentence doesn’t tell you how to do it. If I gave you three balls and told you to juggle, then providing you haven’t practised at juggling, you will find three balls would quickly end up on the floor. Repeating myself or saying “Just juggle the balls” wouldn’t give you any more useful information. It lacks the required steps that are simple and easy to follow.  Being told how we should behave is irksome at the best of times. Being told to be calm, when it seems important that we need to take some kind of action, is likely going to break any level of connection we...
Read More

Setting and maintaining your new year Goals easily

I am sure that everyone has at some point experienced the eventual collapse of their new year's resolutions. The new year often begins with good intentions however bit by bit it is common for our self discipline and energy to be chipped away until we return back to patterns of behaviour very similar to how we were before. What if there was a way to make this new year the year that you reach the goals you set out to achieve? I believe the starting point to all of this is understanding about values. Our values are the core messages that we hold to be so important that they drive and govern our behaviours. They are so embedded in us it can be easy to assume that they are simply what makes me, me, they can also feel as if that is just how everyone should be. The problem is, is that because we react to our values unconsciously they sit within our...
Read More