I’ve had my phobia for so long, and it’s so ingrained, I’m pretty sceptical that you can do something about it. Will this work for me?

These are not unusual concerns, and it is common for most people to arrive into the sessions feeling sceptical. It is okay to be sceptical. The process will work providing you believe that I am a suitable guide for you. I will not ask you to believe in something that you don’t believe in, and I am more than happy to answer any questions as well as explain my process to you. This can be done during our initial chat, we can also talk freely throughout the session.

I’m afraid about working on my phobia. I don’t want to have to think about it, or go through the feeling of fear. Can you still help?

Yes. The process allows you to be safe at all times. I do not use any form of therapy that involves you having to face your fear head on, nor do I use shock or surprise as tactics. I will not ask you to talk in depth about your fear, or to re-live the experience that caused it.

The whole process is gentle and can even at times be playful, it is not uncommon for people to laugh by the end of it. I will be paying attention and modifying my approach to make sure you remain comfortable. Before the session starts I will talk you through what we will be doing and how you can exit and return to a safe space if you need to.

My phobia/fear is complicated/unusual/different. Can you help?

I have a blog here about Specific and complex phobias which may have some further information for you which I hope will be useful. I also offer a free initial chat so that we can discover the nature of your fear or phobia and the best way forward for you.

 

 

So what techniques do you use?

I use the teachings and the techniques of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis and Timeline Therapy®. I am a professional member of the Association of Neuro Linguistic Programming and I work within their guidelines and ethics of my certifications.

What is Neuro Linguistic Programming?

Neuro Linguistic Programming is a model of communication as well as a range of techniques that work with the unconscious mind. It focuses on how an individuals stores and creates a problem, and works to show the mind new ways to consider the problem.

A good NLP practitioner will connect quickly and easily with their client and use powerful questions and the elegant use of language to help clients to deconstruct their problems and change their pattern of thinking. They will also use up-to-date techniques or interventions that utilise the clients unconscious mind so that the client can access more resourceful ways to overcome their problems.

 

What is hypnosis?

Hypnosis is a way of being able to relax deeply, switch off the more analytical part of your consciousness, and be able to receive and deeply embed new ideas and suggestions that will be beneficial for you. It is a way of accessing the deeper sense of yourself that often sits below the surface.

Hypnosis helps to turn down the volume of the more conscious part of yourself and allows you to access your unconscious, your unconscious is in control of your ‘gut feelings’. Hypnosis can be very useful as a form of healing as it allows the client to get back in touch with a deeper part of themselves, it can provide people with answers or epiphanies, or simply a chance to enter into a peaceful, safe or resourceful state of mind.

Can I be hypnotised?

Yes. Everyone has a different way of accessing and experiencing their own trance state. We enter these states every day, normally we call it day – dreaming.

Hypnosis is no different to daydreaming, and I will tell all my clients not to expect to “feel hypnotised”. It feels like something we all often do, which is to relax and listen to our own thoughts and sensations. The only thing that is different is that you will have a guide who will offer questions and suggestions in order to help you to discover the goals you wish to achieve. Providing you have trust in the person who will guide you, and you trust yourself enough to relax in the environment then you will find that you can enter into hypnosis at a speed that is right for you.

Every person is unique which means they will all learn how to do this at their own time and speed. For some it is very quick, for others it takes more time.

Will my problems disappear and can they come back?

It is completely possible for your problem to disappear permanently. Everybody is unique in how they test to make sure they are convinced they no longer have their problem.

The most important question is what would you like to have instead of your problem and is it plausible for you? For instance if you wanted to get over your fear of spiders, what does that mean for you? Is it that you can see one without screaming? That you can pick small ones up in your hand and big ones up in a glass? or is it that you want to be able to really love holding them? For many people the first two options are plausible, but loving spiders is not. Some people can get what they want in one giant leap, others need to take smaller steps. It all comes down to what you believe is possible for you. In the instance of spiders for instance, most people don’t want to like them they simply want to remain calm when they see one, or scoop it up in a glass. For most people this kind of change can happen in a single session.

What falls outside of your scope of practice?

I do not work with: Treating medical conditions, psychological conditions, severe trauma or PTSD, alcoholism/drug abuse, couples/marriage therapy or anyone who I believe could be a danger to themselves or others. There are a great many medical experts, therapists and groups that have specialist training and knowledge in these areas.

What if I find out something about myself I don’t want to know?

To this question, I normally say that in some way you already know it.

Sometimes, talking openly with another, or spending time reflecting inwardly can often bring up surprising thoughts or emotions. This is something I am quite used to, I will do what I can to help you to process what you are experiencing.

In general you will find that working with fear and phobias is quick, and light, and doesn’t require you to go to anywhere you don’t wish to go to.

Do you do sessions over the phone?

I do not. For the type of work I do it is important for me to stay connected and pay close attention to you throughout the sessions. Phones and skype hold the possibility of having their connection disrupted, even in the areas that have the best of signal. Therefore it is important that our sessions take place in the same room as each other.

What if you change me or make me do something?
All great coaching is a do with and not a do to process.
The big secret to all of this, is that I can’t change you. It’s as if you’re on a raft drifting down the river. I can’t jump over and take the oars and steer you in a certain direction, and if I did and if I tried, you would resent me for it, and your journey would no longer be yours. Exceptional coaches will float alongside you for a while, and with your permission, do only what is necessary to help you to discover for yourself that your raft also comes with an outboard motor, an anchor a set of flares and a fishing line and then they will wish you good luck on your incredible journey.
Any changes you make are because you choose to make them, I have the tools and experience to help you to find them as quickly as possible.
Will you work with my partner?
I only work for people who want their own change. I will not contact people based on a reference, or coach someone on the advice of someone else. Furthermore, I am not yet trained in couples counselling so I will only see one person at a time.
If someone wants to work with me then I will wait until they are ready to contact me.

You are also a climber. Can you help me with my climbing head-game?

Absolutely I can. Simply contact me and we can begin a conversation.

I want to work on something that isn’t mentioned as one of your sessions on the website
It’s best to enquire, and let me know what it is and I will let you know if I think I can help.