Finding what you want

Finding what you want

Here are some thoughts about finding what you want Is what you want and what you say you want the same thing? Is it okay for you to have what you want? If you get it, how will that change the way you live or the way others see you? If you get it what might you lose? Do you believe you are capable of or deserve to have what you want? How long do you permit yourself to strive for what you want? How long do you permit yourself to enjoy what you want once you have it? What is the criteria for knowing when you have what you want? And will you realise it consistently when you have it? Is it what you want or what everyone else/society wants you to want? Do you already have it? Have you had it, or something similar in the past? What happened immediately after you had it? Do you need to...
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Wilderness retreat for personal transformation

Wilderness retreat for personal transformation

Personal Transformation Simply put a personal transformation occurs every time you discover you are more than you thought you were. A by-product of living our life from inside our own heads is that we form beliefs about who we are, for better or for worse, and this shapes our understanding of how we fit into the world.  Occasionally significant events take place that provide us with an opportunity to consider our self differently.  A wilderness retreat for personal transformation The Natural environment provides many opportunities for an individual to explore their sense of self. The Wilderness has been used for the purposes of personal transformation through the use of rituals in tribes and cultures since the dawn of humanity, its teachings come from both respecting its dangers and honouring its bounties. It is the perfect teacher. The purpose of such rituals are invariably for the individual to let go of an identity that no longer serves them, and discover a new one that allows for...
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Climbing partnerships: How to avoid the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse

Climbing partnerships: How to avoid the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse

Climbing partnerships: How to avoid 4 horsemen of the apocalypse Every so often during a coaching session it becomes apparent that there is a problem that is lying under the surface. I often find that because it is not fair to blame ones climbing partner for ones climbing performance, most people that I coach try not to bring it to the surface or even admit it to themselves. And yet throughout the session the topic of their climbing partner will slowly become the elephant in the room as it rears its head subtly in conversation over and over again. I have written this blog to share some thoughts about climbing and relationships, because truth be told, who you climb with and how you interact with them, can make a massive difference to your wellbeing and climbing performance just as much as it can to theirs. So how do the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse feature in all of this? Well lets start at the beginning...
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What is phobia therapy and how can it help?

What is phobia therapy and how can it help?

Phobia therapy. What is that? How does it work? Will it work for me? People ask many questions and have a great deal of preconceptions about how to let go of fears and phobias. I wanted to share a no-nonsense approach to answering what phobia therapy is and how it works. As a disclaimer, this blog is of course my own opinions based on my training, my research and my practice working with clients in the context of phobia therapy. There are other people out there with styles and systems that I either haven't come across, or have yet to research or fully appreciate the merit of. How does a phobia work? A phobic response is designed to keep you safe. If the unconscious has a voice it would be saying "I will never let you be harmed by this again." Unfortunately it acts like a sensitive smoke detector, and sets off a full scale alarm at the faintest whiff of burnt toast. The panic that...
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Just Calm Down

Just Calm Down

“Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down” States a popular meme doing the rounds on social media. Whilst I would primarily agree with this statement, I think it is worth taking a closer look. There are two problems about being told to calm down. The sentence doesn’t tell you how to do it. If I gave you three balls and told you to juggle, then providing you haven’t practised at juggling, you will find three balls would quickly end up on the floor. Repeating myself or saying “Just juggle the balls” wouldn’t give you any more useful information. It lacks the required steps that are simple and easy to follow.  Being told how we should behave is irksome at the best of times. Being told to be calm, when it seems important that we need to take some kind of action, is likely going to break any level of connection we...
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Setting and maintaining your new year Goals easily

I am sure that everyone has at some point experienced the eventual collapse of their new year's resolutions. The new year often begins with good intentions however bit by bit it is common for our self discipline and energy to be chipped away until we return back to patterns of behaviour very similar to how we were before. What if there was a way to make this new year the year that you reach the goals you set out to achieve? I believe the starting point to all of this is understanding about values. Our values are the core messages that we hold to be so important that they drive and govern our behaviours. They are so embedded in us it can be easy to assume that they are simply what makes me, me, they can also feel as if that is just how everyone should be. The problem is, is that because we react to our values unconsciously they sit within our...
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Specific and Complex Phobias

Specific and Complex Phobias

In this post I explore the differences and similarities between what has been labelled as specific and complex phobias. What is a Specific Phobia? A specific phobia is when the sufferer has an exaggerated and debilitating amount of fear over a particular ‘thing’. Common examples are: Spiders, dogs, clowns, cows, small spaces, needles. And why do people have specific phobias? Because at some point in their life the person had a significant emotional reaction in response to that ‘thing’, this may even have resulted in trauma. It could have been something that happened to them, or it may have been something they heard about, it may even have come from watching the reactions on somebody else's face. The development could be instantaneous or slow-growing. The person may have a memory when they developed their phobia, or the origin of their fear may be a mystery to them. So what is a complex Phobia? Complex phobias have a secondary level to them because the fear isn't necessarily...
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Falling off and letting go: Tips and thoughts to improve your head-game

Falling off and letting go: Tips and thoughts to improve your head-game

  About This Article A fear of falling on the lead is what stops so many people from being able to climb naturally, fluidly and to their fullest potential when they are above their last piece of protection. There is a wealth of existing information out there and I will make the assumption that a great many people who are reading this article have already worked their way through a few useful articles or swapped tips with friends, and they have most likely tried at least a little falling practice and know that they should do more.  In it's most simple format, falling practice involves taking as many safe falls in as many different contexts until we become familiar enough with falling so that it no longer impacts our climbing by creating additional stress, robbing us of our concentration and inhibiting our performance. This can take thousands of falls, not tens, or hundreds. In this article I want to cover some of the untouched and unspoken...
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Climbing Related Fears and Phobias

Climbing Related Fears and Phobias

  All humans are born with 2 fears, a fear of loud noises and a fear of falling. Apart from these 2 fears, all of our other fears have been learned and stored unconsciously.  Fears can be useful and instructive and being afraid can be thought of as a useful and welcome emotion. Every day fear can teach us to be cautious and it can also teach us to be ambitious. Phobias however are fears taken to an extreme level and ones that can create a significant reaction simply by using our imagination. Phobias are neither useful or rational and they can lead to unhelpful and even dangerous emotions or behaviours. It surprises me how there doesn’t seem to be a lot of information out there regarding climbing and fears, and as a coach who works with phobias and fear, especially with climbers, I’m often curious about how a lack of vocabulary brings about a difficulty for people to understand and explore their...
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Fear of Spiders

Fear of Spiders

I work to help people to overcome phobias in quick and effective ways, sometimes in as little as a single session, so they can live a life without being controlled by their fears. A fear of spiders is very common and every autumn and winter we share our homes, buildings and cars with spiders as they come inside to escape the weather.  This article will provide some useful insights I have had through my work with phobias and may even be enough for you to take action for yourself, or if you find that more work is required for you to reach your goal then contact me. What would you like instead?   So you’re afraid of spiders, and you don’t want to be anymore. Now what? Have you ever considered what not being afraid of spiders looks and feels like for you?   It’s a common misconception to imagine that if you were able to cope with spiders then you would find that...
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